One of the most challenging part of being in a relationship or being married,
is to continue being married and being related with each other as long as it takes..
and it, for the sake of children and love foundation the couple have bowed for, should ideally, takes forever.
It sounds romantic.. and it is indeed romantic and even
divine as marriage is for most of us !
Just because you are in relationship,does not mean that your personal desire and needs stops and be set aside !
Your personal ambition and desire are intact and will even get stronger as the strain and burden of being married and in a relationship is taking more space in the everyday life.
It is but natural that a person's desire for freedom will reach a new level. Life as a married person becomes challenging.
Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you give
up your cravings and needs as an individual and as a person...in fact these needs may even get stronger.. and the desire to fulfill these needs become almost an obsession.... for many of us, discreetly or openly, the need for freedom will be more obvious...and may affect the marriage too..for the couple start to find ways to fulfill the need...secretly..
Problem begins!
Love and respect as foundation (the second and the most important keywords)
The first is commitment..in its broadest sense!
In its broadest sense, are love and respect between each other is the most important factor for a happy married life.
If you and your partner understand the true meaning and the significance of your union and at the same time respecting each individual needs
then you may have a relationship that is so strong, solid, robust and can withstand trials and treats....
the key and the magic word is love with RESPECT...in its broadest sense !
Respecting your partner's need means:
that you don't need to do common things together...all the time.
You don't need to be constantly together ....all the time.
You can do your thing and he can do his thing whilst respecting and loving each other..
Any healthy relationship requires thorough care and respect..in any way possible, with
the goal of having a marriage that lasts as it is the most ideal especially when you have children
or if you valued each other. You did value each other hence falling in love with each other and got married!
Every individual needs time for himself.
He/she needs room for himself.
He/she needs her own privacy..
this is a human and individual needs known to all mankind:)
For any relationship based on respect
and thorough understanding will also lead to self and relational-development for everyone concern. Thus contributing for any relationship to become stronger and sustainable.
Couple concerned become more insightful, stronger, committed and more responsible and contribute in every way they can to uphold and maintain the relationship.
I was talking with a couple one time before. They seem to have found the secret of a good relationship. They were married for many years, with children!
Their marriage and union seem to be very ideal, free of trouble, and they seem to be so committed with each other.....I became curious and made my little private and friendly investigation for that matter!:)
They told me..." We were committed to each other and that we have decided to do from day one!"
Yes that's the first key word.... Committment !
Their marriage was indeed exemplary one and they have a very unique arrangement between them.
The secret of a happy marriage !
She told me the story: "My husband and I went into a very unique agreement: He and me are totally free from each other. That whenever each of us for instance, are out of town to attend seminars or meetings... then we don't worry for each other !
In the broad sense, it means, he or me doesn't check each other's activities nor getting into a jealousy mode... WE ARE FREE ! HAVE OUR FREE SPACE ! AND NO BAD CONSCIENCE BECAUSE WE HAVE AN EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION AND UNIQUE
AGREEMENT !
We all know that jealousy is a potential killer of a relationship.
and we know that because of jealousy...lots of marriage and union has ended up in divorce.
We love each other, what happen outside the house will be his own affair, the same is mine, then we return home into each other's arms, feeling like new lovers.
Nurturing the relationship this way...
No jealousy, but respect for individual needs, making each other stronger
as individual and as a married couple.
So if others can do it, why can't we also do it?
As grown up people we better be! lets start to open up our mind and our hearts!
lets be responsible!...
ENTERING MARRIED LIFE IS A GIANT TASK THAT INVOLVES
PLANNING AND CONSTANT NURTURING INORDER TO SURVIVE...EVERYBODY
INVOLVE HAS TO CONTRIBUTE !!!!
IT IS A COOPERATION...AND A LIFETIME COMMITMENT!
In a relationship, or marriage, let's think strategy, be broadminded, creative and smart.. ;)
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| Photo taken Feb. 19, 2014. |
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